Red Letter Year: The Outtakes
by theswandive
Summary: Outtakes from Red Letter Year
1. The Whole Night  BPOV

**The Whole Night - BPOV**

(S. Meyer owns Twilight)

"How do I look?"

"Gorgeous, as always," Jasper says without even looking at me. He waves his hand in the direction of the front door.

"Don't rush me, I just need to grab a jacket and we can go."

I open the coat closet and try to find the right jacket to go with my low-profile-not-so-hipster-but-yes-I'm-a-lesbian outfit. I spot my favorite light green linen jacket and throw it on hoping it'll bring me some good luck tonight.

"Are we going out tonight? Or are we preparing for an evening out in the next twenty four hours? Come on, woman. Let's get outta here!" Jasper whines.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. You driving?" I ask.

"Of course. You think I'm gonna risk my hide gettin' in a kamikaze cab? No sirree."

"Jasper, really. It's just me. No matter how much thicker your accent gets, I'll never find it sexy."

"Shut up, Bella," he says with a huff. He turns his back to me, opening the door and refusing to look at me. I roll my eyes at him and we exit our apartment.

It's an extremely slow night for me. Not a single pair of boobs in sight. However, Jasper has hit the jackpot and met probably the most adorable boy I've ever seen. He's sweet and charming, and has had Jasper (and okay, me too) laughing for the past twenty minutes, since he boldly walked up and said hello to us.

He licks his lips almost every time he's about to say something and Jasper is eating it up.

"I can't believe I've never seen you here before," Edward says.

"We haven't been out much, actually just moved into town," Jasper responds looking over at me, attempting to include me in the conversation.

"I don't think they call it a "town" here, Jas. In Chicago, everyone refers to it as "the city". You better get with the program, otherwise they'll kick you out," I say, mocking him.

"I like her, reminds me of my own sister," Edward says with a big smile.

"Well, you can have her. I'll warn you though, she can't cook worth a lick."

Under my breath I mumble, "And you don't really have an accent." He immediately grabs me around the shoulder, shoving me into his side. "She's a firecracker, isn't she?" He laughs nervously.

I'll never hear the end of it, but that was totally worth it.

It's getting a little stuffy in here, considering the tiny space is packed with warm bodies, and I wriggle away from Jasper and slip off my jacket. He and Edward are eye-fucking each other, but he looks away for a moment and spies my t-shirt and rolls his eyes. He can go to Hell. It's my red flag. How else will any other lesbians know that I'm not just some random gay man's fake girlfriend?

"I'm going to the little girl's room. You'll be alright for two minutes all by yourself?" I ask him condescendingly.

"Yes, Bella." He shoos me away.

The line for the women's bathroom is ridiculous. Because there are guys in it. What the hell? Don't they know it's...I don't know...illegal to do that? Since I'm the only actual girl in line, I'm not brave enough to say anything. So I wait, and wait...until some angel of a boy spots me and tells me to cut in line because "I might be small but vaginas scare the shit out of these boys", and he's right. They part like the Red Sea and I finally get to pee.

I'm feeling much better now that my bladder isn't on the verge of explosion, but I'm also starting to lose my buzz. I head back over to the bar. I start to wonder if this Friday night ritual of scoping out either chicks or dudes, that Jasper and I have been engaging in is really the right way to go about this. I mean, I'm pretty hard up for sex right now - it's been way, way too long, but at the same time I don't want to hop into bed with just anyone. I've made that mistake before and I never want to make it again.

I decide not to let myself stroll down memory lane. As I'm rolling my eyes at myself, I'm stopped dead in my tracks because I've just smashed into a warm body at the front of the bar. Oops.

"What the fuck?" The dark-haired girl I just pummeled into growls as she turns around to face me.

Oh my God. Oh. She's...fucking beautiful.

"Shit, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I ask, desperate to diminish the scowl on her face.

I start to reach out to her, for what I don't know - I just have no idea what to do with my hands. I immediately bring them to hang limply at my sides. That would be weird if I touched her. Right?

_Oh, but I really want to touch her._

About thirty seconds pass before she begins to form words - if you can call them that. She sort of sputters out that she's fine, and then asks me if I'm alright. Is she nuts? And I think she just looked at my chest.

I find the fact that she's asking me if I'm okay extremely humorous. Okay, it's because I'm suddenly extremely nervous. I mean, look at her! She's hot!

"I almost gave you a concussion and you're asking me how I am?" I try not to trip over my words.

Her eyes squint a little, I think maybe she's glaring at me? Uh...

"I'm glad I amuse you," she says, with a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

Hot and feisty. What was I thinking when I said I didn't want a one-night stand? That was before, this is now.

I pretty much don't have a response. So I try to make a sexy, somewhat slightly-miffed face. I don't know what it must look like. Probably ridiculous.

She tries to recover, possibly thinking I'm pissed. "I'm only joking."

Huh. Apparently the face worked.

I play along, but sweeten my tone just a little. I don't want to come off like a bitch. Because I'm not. I'm a really nice person. "Thanks, I figured as much."

She smiles and hangs her head a little, looking up at me from under the strands of messy black hair that cover the most amazing green eyes I've ever encountered. Shit, I cannot stop looking at her mouth. God damn. Immediately images of that mouth - on my nipple - flash through my head and I realize I'm just standing there, thinking pornographic thoughts, and not speaking.

She seems to snap out the same lust-induced haze I'm in, at least I hope, and introduces herself. "Um, I'm Alice. It's nice to meet you."

She reaches her hand out for me to shake and I greedily take it, dying to know what her skin feels like. I might cross a socially-acceptable barrier by holding on a few beats too long, but it's worth looking like a freak.

I bite back a sigh at the contact. There are so many places I want those hands. And somewhere in the back of my head a nagging little voice reminds me that I've yet to speak - or introduce myself. Oops again.

"Bella. I'm Bella. I just moved to the city with my brother. He's around here somewhere." I scan the crowd, looking for him because honestly I can't think of anything else to say.

"That wouldn't be Jasper would it?" she asks.

"Yes, it would be actually. How do you...?" How in the hell does she know that?

Quickly she adds, "My brother Edward, he's over there talking to him." She points to the spot where they're standing. "He mentioned that he just moved here with his sister. I just put two and two together," she say somewhat nervously.

Do I make her nervous? Oh, I hope so. That means she likes me. This newfound realization boosts my confidence.

"Well then, why don't we go join them? We can get cozy and properly acquainted," I suggest.

"Do you need another drink or are you done for the night?" She asks abruptly before we start to make our way over to the boys.

"Done for the night? No way! I definitely need another one. Considering I just spilled mine in the process of almost knocking you out." It's embarrassing to admit, but totally worth the outcome. "I'm way too sober for meeting new people right now."

"Well, let me buy you a drink then. A welcome-to-the-neighborhood celebration?"

"That's really sweet of you. I'd love a beer, please. Anything local. I like to support the smaller breweries. They treat beer-making like an art form," I say, rambling. Internally I roll my eyes at my dumb mouth.

"No problem, I'll surprise you," she says. She stares at me for a few seconds, nods her head, and walks over to the bar.

I close my eyes, trying to compose myself during the few moments that she's gone. However, I'm missing out on a prime opportunity to see the rest of her. I keep my body turned to the side but give her the once over in my periphery. The hair, the eyes, the voice, it's all I can do to not jump on her right there. Now it might be damn near impossible. The cake-topper is the dark jeans that hug her ass but hang off her hips a little, and the black Chucks.

I definitely need to see her naked.

With drinks in hand, she comes back over to me with a shy smile and nods her head in the direction of our brothers. They're totally engrossed in each other, standing way too close for normal conversation. Without a word, Alice hands me her beer and hauls her hand back, slapping Edward on the ass pretty fucking hard.

I make a mental note to try that one next time Jasper ignores me. He will die. It will be the best thing ever.

"Really?" he says angrily, and glares at her.

Totally unfazed, she says, "That doesn't work on me, just so you know. Edward, this is Bella. Bella, this is my brother Edward." She turns to me. "And you're familiar with Jasper, right?"

"Yes, Jasper and I go way back." I play along, and she laughs.

Score!

"Nice to meet you, Edward," I say and shake his hand. He has a firm grip, a little too firm. Jeez.

Edward seems to be having trouble putting together the connection and speaks slowly. "Oh, so you met my sister...and then I met your brother...and we're all gay. That's so weird and...so interesting. And so weird," he emphasizes.

"Wow, Edward. Way to showcase your social skills," Alice says, rolling her eyes. They're so cute.

She continues in a more formal tone, "For the record, Bella has neither confirmed nor denied her gayness. I, for one, am putting my money on a life of lesbianism, but that's just my fine-tuned gaydar speaking."

"I didn't know I had to declare my gayness," I retort, and continue before she questions it. "Yes, Alice, you are correct. I am a sexual deviant extraordinaire. What gave it away?"

I like saying her name. I would probably also like moaning her name. _Deviant is right._

"Honestly, the 'Ani Fucking DiFranco' t-shirt made it obvious to me. But only chicks notice that sort of thing. Edward probably figured you were gay because he saw you checking out my ass."

I must be twenty shades of beet red. I can't even respond so I put my head down and laugh nervously.

It gets quiet and Alice breaks the awkward moment. "Soooo...anyway. Anyone up for a game of pool?"

"Pool tables are all full. I'm kind of done with this place, it's getting too crowded," Edward whines.

Even though I'm positive that he's leaning toward a plan that has Jasper going home with him, I'm more than happy to agree. Wherever Edward goes, I'm assuming that's where Alice goes.

"We're the newbies here, so what do you guys suggest we do?" I ask innocently.

Alice quickly chimes in. "Why don't you guys come back to our place? We have plenty of beer, and we can chill. Have you guys ever played _PaRappa the Rapper_ for Playstation?" Her eyes light up at the suggestion.

_So. Frigging. Cute._

"I'm positive that neither of them has ever heard of that game. You are the only person on the planet that is obsessed with a rapping puppy," Edward scolds her.

"Shut up. Can you read their minds? No, you can't. So let them speak for themselves," she fires back.

Jasper and I watch them volley their insults back and forth like we're at a tennis match.

"Actually, I would love to. I have no idea what that game is, but I'm always up for checking out musically inclined dogs," I offer.

"Sure thing, me too. Let's get out of here," Jasper adds. I knew it. Boys are so easy. Well, so are girls. Apparently.

Edward and Jasper take the lead, and I follow behind them. I can feel her eyes on me. I assume she's treating me to a little taste of my own medicine, and I'm enjoying every moment of it. I sway my hips just a little more than I need to, just for fun.

We get into a cab and Jasper leaves his car on the street. This is probably the hardest thing he's ever had to do. He must have it bad for Edward. I think maybe I can sympathize.

I'm stuck so close to Alice that sides of our legs are touching and I can feel the heat from her skin through our clothes and it gives me butterflies.

The atmosphere is quiet, all of us thinking about what the night might hold for us. I think I'm pretty good at reading people, and if I'm correct, Alice has the same intentions that I do. I doubt we'd even have to say it out loud.

She seems to have trouble figuring out where to put her hands. I have a few ideas. I reach over, taking her arm in my hand, turning it so that I can clearly see her forearm.

"What does this mean?" I ask, tracing the black mark that looks somewhat like a question mark, with three large black dots to it's right.

"It's a Mayan symbol for the Earth," she says quietly, her voice a little shaky. I still don't lift my fingers from the mark, because I just can't.

"I like it. It's so unique. It suits you." I give her a flirty smile, willing her to relax a little.

"Thanks. I kind of have a tattoo addiction. I have a lot more."

"Well you'll have to show them all to me sometime." I feel like a total cheese ball, but I can't help the words that fly out of my mouth.

"Yes. Okay," she says, looking a little uncomfortable. Maybe I should reel myself in a little. Am I that intimidating or maybe she's not feeling the same way that I am? Great. Now I'm totally starting to question my gut feelings.

Edward tells the driver that we've arrived and Alice gets out first. It's always so awkward to get out cabs when you're in the middle. As I begin to put my foot on the pavement she extends her hand. Grateful, I take it and try to suppress the grin threatening to break through.

Maybe I should stop over-thinking everything and take the moments as they come.

"Thank you, you're such a gentleman," I say.

"I do what I can," she says. We're two total dorks trying to pretend the other isn't making us giddy with excitement.

"You guys live here?" Jasper blurts. "This looks like an old, abandoned warehouse. The kind where mafia guys bring their hits because there won't be anyone around to hear the screaming."

Good God. I'm completely mortified.

"Jasper! That's no way to talk about our new friends' digs. I bet you the inside is amazing. Now apologize," I scold. I could beat him right now.

"Sorry, guys. Sometimes the filter isn't always available. I meant no disrespect," he says.

Edward laughs, grabbing Jasper's hand. "None taken. Come on, let's go inside." Well, they're quite cozy already.

Honestly, Jasper wasn't being anything but brutally honest about the building's facade. It's a little scary, and since I know nothing about Chicago's neighborhoods, I'll just assume this one is okay. Even though it really doesn't feel that way.

I walk a little faster toward the front entrance.

The sexual tension in the elevator that holds two pairs of bodies that desperately want to touch each other, is so thick you could cut it with a knife. I try to keep my eyes averted from any part of her body but it's as if they've got their own agenda. And they're really favoring her mouth it seems.

Saved by the dinging of the elevator doors.

"Welcome to casa de Cullen," Alice says as she unlocks the door, swinging it open. She then bows and extends her arm, formally inviting us in.

She's absolutely adorable.

"Wow. This place is great. It's so light and open," I comment, scanning the loft. "I love it."

"What were you expecting, a dungeon with a torture chamber? We would have provided waivers before we let you inside if we had planned to beat you with whips and chains tonight."

Wow. Already with the whips and chains. I can't help but laugh at her, because like I said - absolutely adorable. And fucking sexy as hell saying "whips".

In my periphery I see Jasper being pulled down the hallway by Edward, he quickly turns his head and tips a fake hat in my direction. Jesus, those boys are horny.

"Umm, can I get you anything to drink? We have beer, wine, water, milk," she rambles on, her voice dropping off a little on the last option.

"A beer would be great. Thank you," I say politely, purposefully ignoring the opportunity to make a joke about the offering of milk. I'll get her next time.

Next time? I think so, yes.

"Right this way, Madame." I follow her into the kitchen, and she grabs us both a beer. She starts rummaging around in a drawer to find an opener.

Time to be bold.

"Here, let me. I'm good at finding things that are lost and buried," I say, reaching around her. Purposefully I press my body against hers. Already I feel my skin getting warmer.

She looks over her shoulder and we make eye contact. I could lose myself in her green eyes. They're vibrant and kind. "Be my guest," she says.

Alice moves out of the way and watches me sort through all of their kitchen utensils. I find it easily. It was right there.

"You're like some kind of stealthy kitchen ninja. Very impressive."

"Thanks, I have lots of hidden talents. Finding a bottle opener just happens to be one of them," I reply seductively, with a wink.

She just stares at me, her eyes filled with lust. They could easily disintegrate me.

We stand leaning against the counter, side by side. I can't take the loaded silence any longer.

"Umm, so you and your brother live here together? Is it just the two of you?" I ask, even though I'm already sure I know the answer.

I fiddle with the mouth of my beer bottle, hoping it will provide some distraction from the urge to pin her against the refrigerator.

"Yeah, it's just the two of us." Her reply is short and a little abrupt. Okay. Interesting, but not important.

"It's a really funny coincidence that you and your brother just moved to the city to live together as well. I didn't think that there were all that many homo brother/sister combos out there," she says with a smile. She actually hasn't stopped smiling since we've gotten here.

"I agree. I've never met anyone else with the same situation before, either. We had to get out of Forks. It's a tiny town in Washington. When you're from a place with less than four thousand people you find out pretty quickly that you're only safe while you're still a kid.

If you're gay, I mean. Once you're out of high school there are literally no prospects. That is, of course, unless I wanted to join the local church and get re-programmed, then I'd have a dozen potential suitors to choose from," I say, forcing myself to stop because I need to shut up now.

Apparently, Alice find this statement hysterical because she laughs so hard she almost sprays beer out her nose from choking. "Sorry," she mumbles, grabbing a paper towel off the roll and wiping her mouth.

"Here, let me get that." I take the towel from her and start to dab at the corners of her mouth. It's completely unnecessary for me to do this for her, but my restraint is hanging by a thread. Alice reaches behind her and sets her beer down on the counter. Her hands are on my hips and I like it. We have a little seductive staring contest, but it becomes too much for me and I break away.

With the slightest pressure, she lifts my chin up with her finger. "Please don't look down. I like looking at your eyes." Suddenly she's become so forward, and my heart races.

"Thank you. You're very sweet," I whisper.

"You're welcome."

I just want to come right out and ask her if she plans on taking me to her bedroom. If she wants me to spend the night. The questions are on the tip of my tongue but my body is in over-drive, and I can't get a single word out.

"Um, I just want to try one thing. Is that ok?" she asks.

My heart thumps wildly. Yes, please. I'd probably let her do...

"Anything."

She cocks an eyebrow. "I'm going to hold you to that."

I realize I must sound so eager. All I can do is smile at her sheepishly.

She closes her eyes and tilts her head. It seems as if time has slowed down, and finally she leans in, our noses meet. When our bodies come into contact, I feel her heart beating rapidly, just like mine. A soft wisp of her breath is on my cheek just as she begins to slowly move her mouth to mine, placing a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.

My resulting smile beneath her lips seems to be an encouragement. She takes my bottom lip in between her own and pulls just slightly. Involuntarily I move closer, our bodies as close as possible, and her hands find my waist.

"Do that again, please," I whisper.

"My pleasure."

This kiss isn't as tentative. Our mouths crash against each other, and we find a quick rhythm of push and pull. I decide I need a taste. I glide my tongue along her bottom lip. She's a smart girl and quickly repeats the motion. A mere second passes and her hands are in my hair, pulling. Our tongues are colliding.

I can't help the hum of pleasure that escapes my lips. Alice Cullen is a fucking awesome kisser.

She slides her hand along my side, over my t-shirt, across my stomach and then stops abruptly, just below where I want it.

"Is this okay?" She whispers against my mouth.

"Don't ask. Just do," I tell her. I want to feel her hands on every part of me.

She doesn't hesitate and brushes her fingers slightly over the swell of my breast. She cups it and presses her hand against me, her palm teasing my nipple. I moan.

"Does that feel good?" She says as her tongue slides away from my lips.

I can only nod my head in response. I force myself to move away from her mouth, needing a moment to collect myself. I rest my forehead against hers, but I can't seem to stop myself from moving forward. I brush my nose along her cheek, drawing an imaginary path down to her neck. I lazily rest my arms on her shoulders, my fingers are in her hair, pulling and kneading, causing the short strands to twist this way and that.

She whimpers.

I softly kiss her collarbone and this sets her off. Alice's hands are on my ass, then my breasts, on the small of my back, pushing her hips into mine. We make-out like horny teenagers for a very long time. My lips are swollen and my mouth is dry from panting, but I'm in heaven.

"Do you want to go somewhere more comfortable?" Alice asks. It sounds like a line but I'm more than willing.

"Yes, please."

"You are so fucking polite," she says, laughing at me. Her tender kiss under my jaw tells me that even though she's joking around with me, this isn't over, and she still wants me.

"Shut the fuck up. I am not." I try to sound forceful but my giggle totally negates the attempt.

"Come on," she says and grabs my hand, our fingers criss-crossing together.

She leads me down a darkened hallway and as my eyes try to adjust, I hear it. Oh, no. No no no. I never wanted to hear Jasper moaning in ecstasy. I need brain bleach. Sick. We don't speak about it - but I think we're both equally traumatized by the sounds of our brothers fucking.

"Um, this is my room," she says a little nervously.

I shake my head and roll my eyes

"What?" she asks.

"Don't be such a silly dork. You know I want your body by now, so stop being nervous and just open the fucking door."

"Okay, I take it back. You are a rude bitch. Now get your hot ass in my bedroom," she tells me.

I can't contain the giggle that escapes. Alice holds the door open for me and motions for me to go first. I should have known. I'm obviously distracted, otherwise I would have foreseen the slap on my ass. I yelp loudly from the sheer shock and defensively cover my ass with my hands, but it's too late. I face her, narrowing my eyes and putting my hands on my hips, giving her the full bitch-brow.

"So, now that you've got me here, what are you going to do with me?" I ask, surprising her.

"Well, firstly, because I'm such a nice person and I don't want to torture our brothers, I'm going to lock my bedroom door, and then I'm going to turn on some music, quite loudly."

"Oh? Why so loud?" I ask, smirking because I know full well why we'll need loud music.

I see her chest moving a little faster now, she approaches me and whispers into my ear. "I wouldn't want anyone else to hear you when you're screaming my name."

A shiver runs through me and I sharply inhale at her words. "In that case, please do," I whisper back.

She puts her hands around my waist and pulls me against her. She kisses me lightly, sweet but erotic. Her body is warm against mine and I melt into her form. She kisses my jaw and down my neck and I have to wrap my arms around her to steady myself. I hold her so tightly, I never want to let go.

In the quiet space of her room, only our ragged breaths can be heard. It becomes obvious how badly we want each other.

She pulls away. A hint of worry in her expression.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yes, I'm okay. Better than okay." She looks down at the floor and quietly asks, "Um, what would you like to listen to?"

"I'm sure I'll like anything you pick. Surprise me."

"Okay, but no complaining if you don't like it."

"You have my word. Scout's honor. I'll even pinkie swear," I say with a giggle.

What is with all the frigging giggling? Jeez, Bella, get a hold of yourself.

"Weirdo." She laughs and moves to a dresser against the far wall, fiddling with an iPod. The twangy, jagged guitar chords fill the room.

"In honor of your shirt."

Oh, she's so fucking cute. What a perfect selection.

_we can touch_

_touch our girl cheeks_

_and we can hold hands_

_like paper dolls_

"You're such a funny girl. Come back over here," I demand.

_we can try_

_try each other on_

_in the privacy_

_within new york city's walls_

She stalks toward me, behind her I catch a glimpse of several photos that line her bedroom walls. "These are amazing. Did you take them?" I ask, turning my back to her to look at all of them.

She stops short. "No, definitely not. My mom took all of these. She was a photographer." She looks uncomfortable talking about this so I let it go. A moment later, she closes the distance and wraps her arms around me from behind. I lean into her, and she splays her warm hands across my stomach and leaves wet kisses along my neck. The subject has been successfully changed, I think to myself.

_we can kiss_

_kiss goodnight_

_and we can go home wondering_

_what would it be like if_

_if i did not have a boyfriend_

_we could spend_

_the whole night_

"You know this song doesn't exactly fit the scenario here, right?" I say with heavy breaths. "I don't have a boyfriend or anyone else to go home to. Also, just so you know, I just might be willing to spend the whole night."

"Is that so? Well, you are forthcoming with information. I'll have to remember to reward you for all your honesty."

I laugh quietly and decide I'm tired of being clothed. I lift my arms up in the air. For a moment, she's frozen wondering what she should do, but then it clicks.

"Are you sure?" She hesitates. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything tonight. I mean, believe me, I want to...to do things...with you. Of course, I do. We can just hang out, though." She's rambling nervously.

"Oh, well I just thought it would be easier to reward me if I was naked."

She closes her eyes and licks her lips.

"This is true. So good of you to think of it," she says. Now who has the breathy voice?

I catch her eye from over my shoulder. "Hey, you back there...with all the talking. Take my clothes off."

"Yes, ma'am," she says with renewed confidence.

She lifts my shirt up and over my head, dropping it to the floor at our feet. "You're beautiful," she says reverently.

"You can only see my back. How do you know if I'm beautiful?" I ask with sincerity.

"I just do." Slowly she turns me around, so that I face her. I don't feel exposed, I feel explored. "See, I knew it." This makes me blush and I can't keep eye contact. "Don't do that. Please, look at me."

And I do. Her eyes search mine, looking for something, and as she does a smile begins to play on her lips. I don't know what she was searching for but it seems as though she's found it.

"Thank you," I say.

Without breaking our gaze, beginning at the hollow of my throat, she slowly makes a trail with her finger down through the space between my breasts. She doesn't stop there. I'm trembling as she continues across the skin of my stomach until I she stops at the waist band of my jeans. Deftly, using only one hand, she unbuttons them and pulls down the zipper.

"May I?" She asks for permission.

"You may." As if I would ever say no to her.

She pulls my jeans down over my hips, her hands caressing the skin of my thighs in the process. I try to step out of them as gracefully as possible. Her eyes are hungry as they take me in.

"Sexy underwear. Did you wear those tonight with a purpose in mind?"

"I'll never tell," I say, playing coy.

"Hmm. Maybe I can get it out of you, we've got lots of time."

She's going to make me come with words alone.

"I would never bet against you. More importantly, though, what I want to do now is get you out of these clothes."

She mimics my previous pose, raising her arms up. "Go for it."

I come closer to her and lift her shirt up.

"That's much better," I say. Now it's my turn to explore. Her slight frame and pale skin are tantalizing, even in the dark. Her arms and torso littered with beautifully colored tattoos ignite my curiosity. "This one right here, what is this?" I ask as I glide my fingers along her side.

"You like this one?"

"It's beautiful. The detail is amazing. What's the meaning behind it?" I ask as I trail my fingers along the branches. I feel her stomach contract, leaving goosebumps where I'm touching her.

She thinks about it for a moment and then responds. "It's the tree of life; it represents our connection with the earth, and also protection and strength. I have a thing for nature, I guess."

"It looks like it was painted on your skin. I think it's my favorite so far. I will have to do more research," I say and wink.

"Research away. You'll hear no protest from me. However, maybe we can save that for later? I'm feeling a little overdressed right now."

"Well, we can't have that." I reach for the button on her jeans. "Now for the rest." I rid of her of those pesky jeans, leaving her naked except for a pair of sexy, black boxer briefs.

"This." I slide a finger underneath the band of her underwear, pulling it towards me and letting it snap back. "Is fucking sexy. I could look at you all day like this."

If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was blushing now.

The mutual nakedness has all but diminished any anxiety about wether or not we're going to have sex, and Alice seems to have taken the initiative as she closes the distance between us, and pushes me into a sitting position at the edge of her bed.

The most eager part of me doesn't want the game to go on any longer. I just want her face between my legs.

I put my hands on her waist, finger the waist band of her underwear, and look up at her. "These need to go. Now."

She nods and I pull them off of her, she steps out of them and kicks them to the side. I commit all of her to memory - the smooth tattooed skin, thin shoulders, sinewy muscles, and long fingers. Her body is feminine but androgynous. It makes me ache to think of having my mouth on every inch of it.

I take the lead and run my hands up the back of her thighs, until I reach her ass, grabbing her and pulling her toward me. She takes hold of my shoulders to steady herself. I bury my face in her stomach and kiss her, everywhere I can reach. She sighs and breathes heavily at the contact. Finally, I get to feel her skin against my tongue but I want more.

I bring my hands around to the front of her thighs and forcefully spread them apart just a few inches. She whimpers and complies. I feel her hands weave through my hair, letting the strands fall through her fingers. It feels so good I could cry.

I need to feel her now. I lean back, propping myself up with one hand, and I use the other to tease her. I slide it slowly, painfully slowly, up her inner thigh until I'm mere inches away from her pussy. She's breathing fast and hard in anticipation.

_now use both hands_

_oh, no don't close your eyes_

_i am writing_

_graffiti on your body_

_i am drawing the story of_

_how hard we tried_

_i am watching your chest rise and fall_

_like the tides of my life,_

_and the rest of it all_

_and your bones have been my bed frame_

_and your flesh has been my pillow_

_i am waiting for sleep_

_to offer up the deep_

_with both hands_

I look up at her and ask with a clear, concise voice. "Alice, do you want me to touch you here?"

Immediately she responds. "Mmmhmm. Yes, please."

"Good girl. You know, you can have whatever you want baby, if you just say please."

Her voice is shaky and needy. "Okay."

I want her on the edge before I touch her where she wants it the most. I start a new path, dragging my fingers along her stomach, across her pubic bone, back down to her inner thighs, watching her facial expression the entire time. Her eyes are closed, enjoying the sensations of my hands exploring her. Without warning I slide my finger between the folds of her pussy and run it along the entire length of her.

"Yes, please. Yes," she whispers frantically. Her hands leave my hair, finding my breasts, caressing them them softly and slowly, swiping the pads of her thumbs over my nipples.

I moan at the sensation of her hands on my bare breasts. It spurs me into action. I use two fingers to separate the folds, opening her wider for me.

"Oh God, please. Please," she begs.

"You like this baby? You like it when I stroke your pussy? Hmm?" I ask.

"Yes, yes, to everything."

"What about this?" I asks as I plunge one finger inside her.

"Oh, yes, yes. Please," she beg again, moaning loudly.

"You are so wet for me, baby. Did I do this to you?" I ask as I reach to her neck and shoulder, kissing her fervently.

I continue pumping my finger inside her, wanting to give her more.

"You know you did this to me. Please don't stop," she pleads.

"I won't stop. Not until you come for me."

"More. Please. I want more."

"Tsk tsk tsk. Let's not be greedy, Alice. Sometimes less is more."

I fuck her faster. She pulls on my nipples, sending a spark through my entire body.

"Mmm, I like that." I moan the words. "You're making me so wet right now. I can't wait to feel your fingers inside me."

"I wanna kiss you. Please let me kiss you," she begs me.

Immediately I lean back so that she can reach my mouth. Placing her hands on either side of me to support herself, she's now bent over. The change in position allows me to go deeper. A lot deeper.

"Ohhhmmm." She moans into my mouth as I kiss her. Our lips melt together and become one. We search out each other's tongues, fighting for dominance.

She breaks away and warns me. "I'm gonna come, Bella. So hard."

"Yes, baby. I wanna feel it. Don't hold back, let it go."

I can feel her walls tightening around my finger as she begins to spasm. I push my finger forward putting pressure on her g-spot and she comes hard and fast, groaning curses, and eventually collapsing on top of me. I hold her tightly against me.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Bella. You are really fucking good at that," she says breathlessly, attempting to stand up.

"Well, thank you. I do aim to please," I reply saucily, batting my lashes and swinging my legs.

"And please, you did. I think you've earned yourself another reward." She climbs up onto the bed, and sits back on her heels. "Up here, now." She points to the pillow.

"Yes, ma'am," I say, mocking her earlier phrase.

I crawl over to the head of the bed and lay down. Without realizing what I'm doing, I play with my breasts because I need something to touch. Alice is on her knees in front of me. Starting with my ankles, she slowly slides her hands along the length of my legs. She kisses each knee tenderly, her hands finding the back of my calves and slowly spreading my legs apart.

I let them fall against the bed, spreading them as wide as I can for her. She crawls over me, and kisses me deeply. There is so much passion in this kiss that it overwhelms me. I'm on the edge of insanity waiting for her to touch me. When she finally breaks the kiss to catch her breath, I whimper at the loss. She smiles devilishly at me, as another song begins to play.

_she says forget what you have to do_

_pretend there is nothing_

_outside this room_

_and like an idea she came to me_

_but she came too late_

_or maybe too soon_

_i said please try not to love me_

_close your eyes, i'm turning on the light_

_you know i have no vacancy_

_and it's awfully cold outside tonight_

"You are an amazing woman, Bella," she says with the utmost sincerity. "I can't believe I have you in my bed."

"Believe it, and if you're lucky, maybe you can have me in your bed again." It flies out of my mouth, but before I can back peddle, I realize I don't want to.

She leans down and kisses my neck, running her tongue slowly in circles, making me moan wantonly. Her mouth tastes every inch of me - across my collar bone and down to my breasts. I push my hands through her hair, caressing and sweeping it away from her forehead. I can feel her hum of satisfaction against my skin.

My nipple is in her my mouth, she pulls slightly with her teeth, she continues to lick and suck and bite. She grinds herself against me and I moan again and again.

She lavishes my opposite breast with the same attention, and I begin to writhe and pant beneath her. Her mouth begins the descent across my stomach and when she reaches my belly button, I giggle. Dammit.

"Something funny?" she asks.

"It's just ticklish right there. I'm sorry." I try so hard not to laugh.

"Oh, you're sorry? Ticklish, huh? Where? Right here? Or wait, was it right here?" She places her lips over my belly button, dipping her tongue inside. The sensation shoots through me and I arch my back, crying out from the sheer pleasure. "Ah, there it is. That's the spot."

I try to push her away, so she can't tease me again, but she grabs my wrists and moves back up the bed, holding them in a criss-cross above my head.

I think she's going to kiss me again, instead she whispers against my mouth, "Behave Bella, or else."

"Okay, I will. Just please don't stop," I beg her.

"Be a good girl and you'll get what you want." She kisses me forcefully and crawls back down toward the foot of the bed. "Now, where was I?"

She begins to pull off my panties and I lift my hips up.

"Absolutely beautiful. I told you, didn't I?"

"Yes. Please, Alice. I can't take much more." The fast tempo of the music in the room, the anticipation of feeling her fingers or her tongue against my sex, and the erotic build-up have me on the verge of explosion.

_the heat is so great_

_it plays tricks with the eye_

_it turns the road to water_

_and then from water to sky_

_and there's a crack in the concrete floor_

_and it starts at the sink_

_there's a bathroom in a gas station_

_and i've locked myself in it to think_

As I lose myself in the fantasies of what she could eventually do to me. She finally does it by placing a soft kiss on my clit, making me groan with pleasure.

_and you'll stop me, won't you_

_if you've heard this one before_

_the one where i surprise you_

_by showing up at your front door_

_saying 'let's not ask what's next,_

_or how, or why'_

_i am leaving in the morning_

_so let's not be shy_

Lifting her head to look at me, she smiles sweetly. I have to touch some part of her, tentatively I reach up and run my fingers through her hair, she sighs at the contact, turning her head to kiss my wrist. Then she's between my legs - again - I feel her tongue flatten against my clit, licking the entire length of my pussy. A long, loud sound fills the room, and I can't believe that it's me.

"Mmmm, that's it, right there," I tell her.

She licks and sucks my clit with abandon. I'm a writhing, panting, sweaty mess beneath her. I can't stop my self from lifting my hips toward her mouth.

"You taste so sweet and you feel so amazing. Am I making you feel good, Bella?"

"Yes, yes. It feels fucking fantastic. Please, I want more."

"Since you asked so nicely..." she trails off, and dips her tongue inside me. The sensation of being filled with her hot, wet tongue causes me to spasm, my hips bucking off the mattress.

"Oh God! Oh God!" I cry out.

She continues darting her tongue in and out, then without warning, she buries two fingers deep inside me.

"Oh fuck! Alice! Yes, fuck me!" I scream.

I feel like I'm on a twisting, turning roller coaster of ecstasy. I never know what's she's going to do me next. But whatever it is - I know it's going to make me feel amazing.

"You like it when I fuck you, don't you, Bella?" _Hell yes._

"Yes. Oh God, yes. Fuck me, fuck me harder. Please!" I yell.

One more thrust inside me and then she adds another finger, pounding in to me, over and over. Just like I wanted. I can't stop the loud cries that echo throughout the room.

"I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come so hard. Oh God, please, please, don't stop." I beg mercilessly.

"That's it, baby, let it go, come for me."

"Yes, yes, yes...oh God...yes. Alice, yes!" I erupt around her fingers. It's the most amazing, breathtaking orgasm I've ever had. My chest heaves and I feel like I'll never catch my breath again. I let my arms and legs fall limply against the bed. I get lost in the euphoria.

Alice hovers over me, finally laying on top of me. We exchange our gratitude in languid kisses. I slide my hands along her sides, and all over her back, trying to memorize the delicious feeling of her weight against me.

"That was...just...wow," I say incoherently.

"Thanks, I think." She's smirking at me and chuckling.

"Sorry, you fucked the brain cells right out of me."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

She turns us and holds me from behind.

Alice presses her face into my hair, inhaling my scent. I shiver and close my eyes.

"Can I ask you a question?" she whispers.

"What is it? You can ask me anything."

WIth a less than confident voice, she asks, "Um, will you stay with me tonight?"

I can't believe she doesn't already know the answer to that. How could I possibly sever this connection? I need to be here, I need to feel her arms around me. I've never wanted anything more than to stay here. I reach behind me, placing my hand on her cheek. She leans into my touch.

"I hadn't planned on going anywhere." I decide to be straightforward. " I know we don't know each other that well, but I feel very connected to you already. I want to know so much more about you, Alice."

She lets out a breath and then holds me tighter. "I feel connected to you, too. It makes me really happy to hear you say that," she admits and then kisses my palm.

"I would love nothing more to fall asleep in your arms and wake up with you in the morning. I have plans for you anyhow," I tease.

"Awesome."

Uh, not the answer I expected. I roll my eyes at her word choice.

"Awesome? What, are you thirteen?" I ask, laughing.

"Shut up. It is awesome." She then pinches my ass in revenge.

"Ouch! Stop that!" I try to bat her hand away, but she's got a firm grip on me and I'm unsuccessful.

"Let's go to sleep now. Before I have to beat you," she says.

"Promises, promises."

_i am waking up_

_in her bed_

_i sing 1st avenue_

_the open window said_

_always late to sleep_

_late to rise_

_lying here watching the day go by_

_in the living room_

_there are people on the carpet_

_having stupid conversations_

_just to hear themselves talk_

_and i am drifting through_

_i am heading for the kitchen_

_i am thinking of her fingers as i walk_

**All Songs by Ani DiFranco**

**The Whole Night**

**Both Hands**

**She Says**

**Shy**

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed seeing their first night from Bella's perspective. I may eventually write more outtakes of different chapters. You got this one because it won the poll by a landslide. lol**

**Thanks for reading! :-D**

**xoxoxoxo**


	2. FutureTake: Edward & Jasper

**This is a futuretake – one special evening between Edward & Jasper.**

**S. Meyer owns it. I just gayed them up. Enjoy.**

**~Edward~**

I check my watch for the tenth time while I lean against the cold brick facade. I smile, trying not to laugh at a group of three women standing in a line of people that wraps around the block. They're doing their best to charm the bouncer into letting them in, even though it's painfully clear that they're under age.

Jasper should be finishing up any minute now, after playing an early set at the Beat Kitchen-which isn't a kitchen at all, actually. I sat mesmerized, drinking him in while he played, but the room was so thick with billowing cigarette smoke that I couldn't take it anymore. I signaled to him that I was going to wait outside. He smiled and nodded while he sang and strummed his guitar; he didn't even have to concentrate.

I take a deep breath of the clear, crisp evening air, and my lungs thank me. I've been looking forward to tonight for a few weeks. I aced my last final for the semester, and I'm now completely free of studying and lab work for the next six weeks. Six weeks of spending the day with him - and the nights in his bed. My schedule is insanely hectic and his is the exact opposite; he stays with me most evenings, so I can get up and go whenever I need to.

Not tonight.

"Hey, Peter! I'll see ya next weekend," Jasper says, walking out and clapping the bouncer on the shoulder. He surveys the block, first looking to his right, where he doesn't find me. I bite my lip and grin at his adorable confusion. When he turns to the left and catches my eye, his face breaks into a mischevious smile.

"There you are."

"Here I am."

"Why didn't you stay inside?" he asks, nodding toward the club. I don't know how it's possible, but his dark eyes are twinkling as they rake over me.

"I couldn't breathe in there. I don't know how you do it," I tell him.

"Eh, I guess you just get used to it. You,uh...hungry or anything? Maybe?"

"Not really," I say, even though I can _always_ eat, I'm more eager for something else.

"Me neither," he agrees. "Come on." He offers his hand and I take it. This is a neighborhood where I don't mind so much being seen in public showing affection. Boystown is close by, and it's pretty common to see gay couples walking hand-in-hand.

Jasper's hand is warm, his fingertips are calloused from guitar playing, but I like the rugged feel of them as he passes them over my knuckles. He holds my hand in his right, and his case in his left. We casually stroll down the sidewalk, enjoying the nightlife that surrounds us. He's wearing worn-out jeans, an equally tattered, dark blue, plaid button-down that's rolled at the sleeves, and brown leather boots that softly smack against the concrete as we walk. Even though he mostly looks like he just rolled out of bed, it's ridiculously sexy.

I free my hand and wrap my arm around his waist, pulling him closer to me as we walk the last few blocks to his and Bella's apartment. Bella, who I might add, I see on a daily basis at _my_ place. As we stroll, we don't say much, other than small talk about how the gig went, and whether I thought I did well on my finals.

We do a lot of talking, actually, but most of it when we're lying together in bed, legs tangled, and my head on his chest. That's where we've learned the most about each other.

It's where Jasper asked me to confide in him about how I handled the death of my parents, and becoming something of a parent to Alice. Wrapped up in his arms is where I confessed that I dread the day I have to leave her on her own. It's the place where he asked me to move in with him.

I think about his question constantly, but I've yet to give him an answer. It's...complicated.

I break away from my thoughts when we reach the entrance to his building. Jasper stops abruptly and turns to me. "You don't have to go in the morning, right?" He asks with what I think is real concern, but ends in a playful smile.

"I already told you. I'm all yours. For _weeks_."

Something resembling a growl escapes his lips, and he grips my jacket, pulling me against him. I think he's going to kiss me, so I close my eyes. Instead, I feel his lips against the shell of my ear, and he whispers, "I'm looking forward to waking you in the middle of the night, rock hard against your ass, and then fucking you without a word."

My eyes roll back in my head at the images that flit through my mind: being roused from a deep sleep by Jasper's cock teasing my backside, me pushing back against him, his arm draped over my waist, his fingers dipping into my underwear, stroking me with rough fingers.

"Please. Let's go inside," I beg in a whisper.

After giving me a quick, but soft kiss, he types in the pass code, and I follow him up the short walk. I focus on the ground below me, trying to regain my composure. They were just words, but the affect they can have is amazing.

Once we're inside, Jasper throws his keys onto the side table in the foyer, and I follow behind him, picking them up and putting them in the drawer. I hear him chuckle and see him shake his head at my obsessive behavior.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. You'll be able to tune it out in no time," I say playfully, reassuring him. I slip off my shoes and bend over to place them neatly on the mat. As I stand up, I feel him. Jasper's arms circle my waist, his hands creep their way under the hem of my shirt, splaying against my stomach, and holding me close to him.

He speaks against the warm skin of my neck. "I would never want to tune you out. Anyway, I like your voice. It's sexy."

"Mmmhmm," I say, leaning my head back against his shoulder. "You say that now. What about in five years, when I'm still nagging you about putting your keys away?" I reach behind me to weave my fingers through his hair, pulling slightly.

"Even then." He kisses the side of my neck, and then gingerly bites the same spot.

I moan and it carries through the quiet space.

"Come on, sugar, I'm takin' you to bed."

"That's the best thing I've heard all day."

He walks backwards down the hallway, pulling me by the waist of my jeans. He's unbuckling my belt, unsnapping the top button, sliding down the zipper - the entire time looking directly into my eyes. It takes all of my courage not to look away under his intense stare. As we cross the threshold of his bedroom, he lifts my sweater up over my head, and I raise my arms in cooperation.

The scent of him rushes over me - hints of leather, wood, honey, and his skin. He throws my discarded clothing to the floor, and pushes my jeans and boxer briefs down over my hips. I watch him kneel, his mouth excruciatingly close to the most sensitive part of me. I step out of my clothes, and place my hands on the top of his head, guiding him.

In the dim light of his bedroom, Jasper takes me into his mouth, and I fall prisoner to his movements. He grips, I shiver. He pulls, I push. The urge to thrust faster and with more force is strong, but I refrain. I whimper each time his mouth falls away. He's teasing me, but he always comes back for more.

To distract myself from the intense pleasure and to prolong this, I weave my fingers through his hair, concentrating on the soft caress of each strand as it falls between my fingers. However, it's a weak distraction, and only moments later, the sounds his mouth makes as it suctions against my skin fill the room. When I chance a look down to watch him, he's looking up at me. The fire in his eyes sets my heart racing; I warn him of my impending release.

He hums against me, taking me in fully. When I hit the back of his throat, every muscle in my body tightens.

"Oh...yes. Just like that...fuck. Just...like that," I whisper, each word a struggle to push past my lips. He continues, bringing me so close to the edge, and then pulling me right back. My chest heaves, and I feel a bead of sweat trickle down the back of my neck.

Every time is just like this. Each and every sensation is overwhelming.

Jasper grips the base of my dick, and focuses his ministrations solely on the tip. When his tongue finds the separation, sliding deftly back and forth, I come undone.

"Fuuuck, Jasper. Oh, _fuck_..." My voice trembles and I'm panting. When I just can't take it any longer, I hold the back of his head and thrust. He moans and I pulse into his mouth. Breathing raggedly as my orgasm recedes, I drift back down to earth. My stomach clenches, and I jerk away slightly as his tongue sweeps across my overly sensitive cock, licking me clean of every last drop.

"Come here. Please," I beg him.

When we're face to face again, he shakes his head, and says, "God, I fucking love listening to you come. One of the best sounds in the world - better than any music I've ever heard."

My response is a lazy smile; I'm more than incoherent. He laughs quietly. "What? Cat got your-" He licks my parted lips. "-Tongue?" And that's all it takes.

"Make me come again," I demand.

"My pleasure," he says with a smirk.

I lick my lips in anticipation of getting fucked.

"Where do you want me?" I ask.

"On the bed. On your back. Legs spread. You know how I like it." His voice has taken on a slightly authoritative tone.

When I don't move right away, he adds in his deep southern drawl, "Go on, now." I never had a chance, not with that accent. It tends to make it into our bedroom talk quite a bit, but not as much outside of that. I don't even care if it's real - he could probably make me come with his words alone.

I raise my hands in defense. "I'm going, I'm going." He smiles in response, looking me up and down.

I crawl up onto his bed and get comfortable, raising my arms above my head and spreading my legs for him. My dick is already starting to get hard again. I reach down and stroke myself slowly, waiting for him.

He's pushing buttons and adjusting dials on the ridiculously old stereo system that he won't let me replace with something modern. So stubborn. "What are you going to play for me?" I ask.

"Something a little different tonight. I think you'll like it," he responds without turning around.

Seconds later, a few drawn-out, fuzzy electric guitar notes crackle through the speakers. The woozy rhythm continues until the clash of a cymbal joins in. Then a lazy, deep, melodic voice sings the first verse.

_My mind is ramblin' _

_From place to place _

_Tell me, tell me _

_What must I do?_

"Who is this? I like it."

"The Black Keys. The song is called _My Mind is Ramblin_'," he says with a meaningful look that I don't quite understand. He tells me this as he stands at the foot of the bed, unbuttoning his shirt, and slipping it off. He sheds all of his remaining clothing, and then pulls his hair back into a short ponytail, wrapping it in a rubber band. After kneeling onto the bed, he places his hands on my bent knees.

"I'm glad you like it. Now, I'm going fuck you to it. That alright with you?" He raises his eyebrows in question.

Everything he says to me is calculated and meant to disarm me. It works. Like magic. My reply is breathy and greedy. I nod my head eagerly. "Yes."

"Good. I set it to repeat."

I squirm at the implication.

"You ready, baby?" He asks, settling between my legs and slipping a single, lubed finger inside me. My breath catches.

"Yes. God, yes."

He pays absolutely no attention to my aching cock, which has become solid once more. He's driving me insane.

"More?"

I nod, unable to speak when I feel him stretch me further, inserting another finger and fucking me slowly for what seems like forever. The need to be completely filled surges through me.

"Watching you writhe and moan like this is almost as good as fucking you, Edward. Almost."

He removes his fingers. Instantly, I miss the feeling of him inside me. I reach for him, fruitlessly searching for more of it, but he gestures for me to put them back above my head. Without another word, Jasper hovers over me just long enough to lean down and kiss me sweetly. He runs his nose along my jaw, and hums contentedly. I feel the pass of his hand against my stomach, and then a single finger running down the length of my cock. My pelvis jerks in response to his sensual teasing. When he's back on his knees, he watches himself as he aligns our bodies and presses into me. A quiet moan escapes, and he closes his eyes. At his first thrust, I arch my back and grip the sheets. "Unnhh!" I cry out.

Jasper moves in me, slowly, rhythmically. Never fully leaving, but never fully entering me. I raise my head in an effort to try to watch the joining of our bodies and the look on his face is more than I can bear.

He's on another plane of existence - eyes closed, and serenity painted across his features. His muscular stomach contracts and releases with each roll of his hips.

"God, you're so beautiful, Jasper. I love watching you fuck me," I confess.

He opens his eyes - they're dark and glazed over. He looks down at me lovingly. "Tell me more, baby. What do you want me to do you?"

"Fuck me harder."

He gets a firm grip on my hips and begins to pound into me. His thrusts match the beat of the music, so I know exactly when his hips will meet my ass. I know every second that l'll be filled by him. I know which moment I'll feel the tip of his cock pass over the spot inside of me that makes me lose my mind. I brace myself for every sensation, but I can't prepare for the intensity of his every move. His words, his thrusts - everything disintegrates my control.

"Yes. Yes. Oh, fuck. Yes, baby," I ramble and groan as the intensity builds. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room. I feel him start to slow a little, struggling to keep up the pace because he's close to exploding, tool. I push against him, and our bodies meet at a frantic and frenzied pace as we both struggle to reach the precipice.

The fire grows inside me, lapping at my groin, and I start to spasm around him, practically yelling at him to never stop.

"Fuck, Edward. Fuck..." He moans my name again, and then stills as he comes inside me.

I pull him down on top of me, his cock slipping out of my body. We wrap our arms around each other, holding on, soaking in the aftermath of our mutual orgasms.

He kisses my cheek, my jaw, and right below my ear. I glide my hands up and down the warm, bare skin of his back.

"Edward, move in with me," he says out of nowhere. I can hear the yearning in his voice.

"Jasper..." My non-answer has been weighing on him. I can't stand to think that it's hurting him.

"I know, I know. It's complicated," he says, mimicking my initial response.

"Yes, I mean, no. Jasper, I mean…"

Jasper cocks an eyebrow, confused. I don't blame him.

"I'm just scared, I think." I finally admit it.

"What are you scared of?" He asks, sweeping the hair out of my eyes.

"Of living a life that's solely about me, I guess. I feel selfish. Do you understand what I mean?"

"I do. You're afraid to leave her."

"That's part of it, I guess. I just spend so much time focusing on her, and I'm happy to do it, but it'll take some adjusting not worrying about her twenty-four hours a day. I know Bella will take good care of her, and it won't be long before they're having this same conversation - so she won't be alone for long. It's just that...that...I love you, Jasper. I want to be here for you one hundred percent. I _want_ to live with you."

"Edward, you can still worry about her. Do you think I'll ever stop worrying about Bella? No way. Listen to me. You can love me, and you can be here with me, and even if your mind is far away sometimes, that's okay. You're not selfish. If anyone is, it's me. I just want you by my side, always, because I love you, too."

I feel the tears begin to fall from the corner of my eyes and across the side of my face. It's not the first or the last time he'll see me cry.

"Yes," I say.

"Yes, what?"

"I'll move in with you."

His answering smile is brighter than sunshine. "You've just made me a very happy man, Edward."

"Now we're even," I say and he just stares at me, unbelieving.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"This is the part where you kiss me."

"Oh, right. Of course. Where _are_ my manners?" he says, grinning.

****OoOoOo****

**A/N:**

**I**** have to give a big ol' shout out to my home slice, TruceOver. You wouldn't be getting boysecks if it wasn't for her. She held my hand and patted the top of my head in encouragement. ****I**** was really scared, believe me. ;-) **

**Thank you to my beautiful betas, MessyBar and angel_eyes1_uk. Also to my pre-reader extraordinaire, ColorTheEra, who gives me regular ego boosts. I feel super lucky to have them, because they rock. A lot.**

**The Red Letter Year blog needs your love. Go visit it. There are PICTURES people. And some GIFS. What else do you need? ;-P Link is on my profile.**

**Thank you for reading. Jasper loves you for it.**

**xoxoxoxo**


End file.
